Forgive. And then forget.
Or, maybe it would be better to forget, and then no question of forgiving.
My question still remains, if we are able to forgive then why is there a need to forget, and infact would it be desirable to forget?
Is it really possible to forget something completely? And if not, then is it really possible to forgive someone? Is forgiveness still complete even though you remember the wrongs that the person did to you?
Is it really possible to forgive without forgetting?
According to definition, forgive means to grant pardon to a person and to cease to feel resentment against (a person). I would infer it as that one is well aware of the deeds and the effects but in full consciousness he chooses to let things pass by. But question arises, why would anyone forgive?
It is necessary to know and understand the story of the other side, or as they say to slip into other person’s shoes (though not literally, otherwise you might be the one requiring forgiveness!). It is necessary to understand other persons thinking, and circumstances and what led to his actions. What would you have done if you would have been in his position, and more importantly what kind of action would you have expected from the person in your position, had you been on the other side ?
Another thing that I have found very useful in this whole business of forgiving is to attach a learning outcome to the incident/ event. Don’t forget, but learn. Change yourself, improve yourself. I had a friend and I really felt hurt through his acts and behaviour, until one day we engaged in a big fight and decided to go away in separate independent paths. But soon I realized how I had failed to acknowledge his side, and seen only my interpretations of the events. I realized that perhaps even I had hurt him as much, if not more.
No.
Can I forgive him?
Yes.
Have I learnt or improved?
Yes, a lot.
